Volume 11 Issues 6 June, 2021
“You don’t fall in love with the gender, you fall in love with the person “
June is celebrating as a pride month, in which one accepts and celebrated in favour of LGBTQ community. Gender is of the mind while sex is of the body. Gender is between ears and sex is between legs.
Coming out is the process through which you explore, define, and share your sexual orientation and/or gender identity with the people around you. It is a very long and difficult struggle since in our society, many people assume that everyone is heterosexual.
Crucial role of mental health expert is to facilitate coming out process.
6th Dec 2018 – Sec 377: homosexuality was decriminalised
The following are some benefits, risks, fears, and possible outcomes a “closeted” individual may be thinking about. Thinking of these benefits, risks, fears, and possible outcomes assists in preparing the individual for possible reactions.
Benefits
- Ability to live one’s life honestly, as an integrated whole and avoiding a double-life.
- Building self-esteem through empowerment and greater self-awareness.
- Developing closer, more genuine relationships with friends and family.
- Alleviating the stress and fear of hiding one’s identity and being “found out.”
- Connecting with others who identity as LGBTQI.
- Being part of a community and culture with others with whom you have something in common.
- Helping to dispel myths and stereotypes by speaking about one’s own experience and educating others.
- Being a role model to others
fear of coming out
- Rejection – Loss of relationships
- Gossip
- Harassment
- Abuse
- Being thrown out of family / home
- Loss of financial support
- Loss of job
- Physical violence
- Permanently changed relationships
- Rejection from communities / groups
- Discrimination
Reasons LGBTQI individuals May Want to Come Out to Friends and Relatives
- End the “hiding game”
- Feel closer to those people
- Be able to feel and be “whole” around them
- Feeling of integrity
- To make a statement that “gay is ok”
Reflections Before Coming Out
The coming out process is different for each person and in each situation. The following are some suggestions that one may want to evaluate for themselves before demarking the decision to ‘come out’ can be an intensely emotional and stressful situation.
| Stage 1: Identity Awareness | The individual is aware of being “different.” |
| Stage 2: Identity Comparison | The individual compares their feelings and emotions to those they identify as heterosexual. |
| Stage 3: Identity Tolerance | The individual tolerates their identity as being non-heterosexual. |
| Stage 4: Identity Acceptance | The individual accepts their new identity and begins to become active in the “LGBTQ community.” |
| Stage 5: Identity Pride | The individual becomes proud of their identity and becomes fully immersed in “LGBTQ culture.” they identify as heterosexual. |
| Stage 6: Identity Synthesis | The individual fully accepts their identity and synthesizes their former “heterosexual life” and their new identity. |
Mental Health: Influencing Factors
- Constantly concealing your true sexual or gender identity can cause chronic stress, leading to mental health issues.
- Internalized homophobia associated with eating disorders, high-risk sexual activity, substance abuse, suicide (Savin -Williams 1994; DiPlacido 1998)
- Because of society’s prejudice and risks of harassment, gay bashing, rejection of family, losing one’s job
- Involving in sexual behaviour in remote places to avoid public exposure and embarrassment.
- human contact via anonymous sex as sexual release is a self-medication to defend
- against loneliness, depression, low self-esteem & anxiety
Parents and families can:
- Play an important role advocating for safe spaces where their child can explore interests withoutjudgment or stereotypes.
- Support diverse friendships and social involvement without focusing on expectations around gender.
- Provide exposure to people working and enjoying activities outside of conventional gender expectations.
- Check regularly with your children about their interests, friend groups, romantic attractions, and anybullying or teasing that may be taking place
Even if you are having trouble understanding your child’s identity or feelings, not withdrawing from your role as a parent is probably one of the most important ways to help a child continue to feel a sense of being cared for and accepted. Many parents do need their own supports to help them understand and cope with their own difficult emotions and concerns.
Dr Aninda Sidana
Consultant Psychiatrist
Prerna deaddiction centre,Sriganganagar
Email id – draninda30@gmail.com
Dr Amrit Pattojoshi
Edited by Dr. Harshitha MDPsychiatry, pursuing PDF inCommunity Mental Health,NIMHANS, Bangalore
